Step One...

Hey all. Its been a while, hope your weekend was good. mine was rather fantastic, lots of study, and then went out for dinner with some mates on sunday nite. The weather was a bit all over the place I must admit, but hopefully it will clear up, coz im keen for a spot of fishing this weekend. Yes, i know, its only monday and im already thinking about the weekend but hey, if thats what gets me through the week who are you to dictate the way i live? :P

So. I said I wanted feedback, I wanted discussion topics, I wanted your opinion. I was asked to write about the process of how two people end up in a relationship together. If you know me well enough, you all know that i DONT do relationships in general. Today's post mite be a little abstract, and a little inaccurate, but i will do your best. this is after all, as they say, "your party".

So lets see. Before i begin, I will admit one thing...I am one that LOVES the chase. to live on the knife's edge between winning them over and losing them forever...thats the kind of thrill that sends shivers up my spine. Yes, I may sound like a tool for playing with emotions but hey, wer all emotionally unstable as teenagers, why not push ourselves to the limit? at the end of the day though, sometimes I do go too far, and many have told me that a girl is attractive to me until the point that she starts to like me. maybe that's true, maybe it's not. anyways, lets hit the road.

Step one THE SEARCH. you have to pick them out from the multitudes that exist. to you they must stand out. You have to find that x-factor, and when it pushes your nozzles, then you know it's a go. Picking them out isnt so easy though...for example, if you walk into USYD, theres THOUSANDS of beautiful women/men there to choose from. not only that, you have to cull out the ones that are taken (unless you're a douche and want to get punched in the face, ie you want to ride that knife's edge :L). Pick your target, quick rate, quick background check (thats what smartphones are for) and then close in.

Step two THE ICEBREAKER. now this is the hardest part that requires the most finesse. no amount of reading and analysing "The Game" (although it is a brilliant book) or rote learning Barney Stinson's Playbook will get you through this step if you LACK CONFIDENCE.  You've already picked them out from the pack, you've decided they're worthy.  It is important that you approach them with your true personality. A fake persona may get you over the line for about 2 minutes MAX. you have to hold yourself high, believe in yourself, and if you get shut down, well, walk away, coz they arent worth your time. remember, its ALWAYS their loss, never yours.  the ball is always in your court.  Barney Stinson always gets the yes, and there is a reason for it. "make yourself the prize, not them". give the illusion of the chase but in reality they are chasing you.

Step three THE SALE. this part is the easiest. you've already broken the ice, hopefully its not awkward or uncomfortable anymore.  All you need to do is be yourself, and maintain a healthy conversation. to some people this may be hard, but just do some stock standard conversation topics like name (not necessary), where are they from, what are they doing, work, uni, school etc. just maintain a conversation, but the whole time you gather information about them. this is where you decide whether to continue pursuing or not, based on the information you collect.

Step four THE CLOSE. this involves a lot of delicate procedures.  you have to play it right or you lose it all completely. What happens here is based off completely what you want from this person.  If you decide no more, you say thanks and walk away. dont talk any more. leave it. finish. zip.  If you want something short term with them, move in fast with the kiss. bam boom hopefully your bed broke, i dont know. if you want something more long term well, you simply make sure you can see them again. asking for their facebook is NOT a good idea. stick to phone number and name, and use pen and paper if possible. technology usually fucks everything up. Notice i didnt tell you how to approach the close. this is because each move is unique to each individual. it is up to you to discover your own style, because it is your personality that wins them over, much more so than whatever trick, scam, con, flimflam or artwork can.

Step five THE FIRST DATE. the first date is always the hardest. why? because you dont know much about the person and lets face it, all you want to do is get in their pants. JOKING you ask them on a date purely because you want to get to know them better. do not expect ANYTHING from this date, but if you do get something, your doing very well. good first date idea is movie. why? because you dont need to say anything. to test compatibility, you first need to see how comfortable you are sitting next to each other. furthermore, after the movie you get a chance to have a conversational topic regarding the movie (unless your a damn aesthetic god/goddess and spent it all hooking it up in there on the first date. if so, RESPECT.) also, a crucial point is, if your a guy, pay for the girl, if your a girl, attempt to argue but dont have any intention of paying. why? coz the guy likes to feel as if hes the big man and can support you. if the guy says ok to him not paying for you, leave. coz thats just rude.

ASIDE: this is the point where i usually end most relationships. if iv gone any further with you, feel honoured. this is the bit where i start to struggle, so bear with me.

Step six WATCH EACH OTHER EAT. if the first date feels like a success, both parties will know. either one, the girl will say when do i see you again, or two, the guy says il call you. at this stage, you must be comfortable enough to eat with each other. sounds petty, but if one of you is embarrassed to eat in front of the other, then its not going to work.  you're either going to have to go back to the drawing board, or its time to move on.

Step seven THE END. yes its the end. its time we say RIP to the mates that we've lost due to getting whipped. whether we like it or not, all males in a relationship are whipped. i cant really say much about this because iv never been this far with anyone. maybe one day, but not today.

So, there you have it, the breakdown of how relationships form, from the initial pick up all the way down to the day we lose a good comrade.  Please dont try too many of the tricks iv mentioned on too many people though...or else eventually you'll turn into a shell that knows nothing but the comforts of their extraverted ego. :)

til laterz
Trev