Monday, 12 September 2011

Stumbling on Happiness

Have you ever looked around you and wondered why everyone is so happy? Constantly everywhere I turn, I see people who seem to have better lives than myself.  People are laughing with big groups of people, couples are intertwined in embrace, individuals happy with themselves.  This overwhelming flood of positive emotion caused me to think and reflect, because more and more lately, I begin to question what happiness is and how do people find it, because I definitely have't gotten there yet.

The search for happiness is a motive that is ingrained in us almost as deep as the need to satisfy hunger and thirst.  Happiness is the object of our conduct, the way our lives move is to seek pleasure and individual satisfaction.  Why then, is the highest cause of death among people our age suicide? 80% of households have at least one person there that is not content with their lives, that they are suffering from some sort of emotional distress. The postmodern warped world that our generation live in has led us to become unhappy as our lives are marked by consumerism.

However, if we plough deeper into our individual lives, we will come to realise that wealth, fame, power, beauty, these actually do not make one happy or unhappy - these are external factors.  Happiness comes from within, it is a by-product of our inner human condition where our soul is content.  One who lives just to search for happiness will probably never find it, as the search is what brings one the most grief.

As individuals stuck in the clockwork of dull postmodernism, we have no time and place.  As a generation defined by democratic systems and capitalistic economics, we are the middle children of history.  "We have no Great War, We have no Great Depression. Our Great War is a spiritual War, Our Great Depression is our lives." The spiritual war that we fight is this search for happiness.  No one can be truly happy.  Every person that looks around will always see someone that is happier than them, more set than them, more in tune with their future and environment.  This is a phenomenon called comparative emotional response.  As we move further and further on with our lives, we realise that the current state that we are in is nothing but a wait. Life is just one long wait. For what though? It is the wait for true happiness to come.  Our actions are the search, our goal is to reach the end.

One's happiness is hindered by the importance that is placed on material possessions.  We continue to lament over technology lost, we complain about our lack of funding to provide us with the best on the market.  What we need to do is escape from the shackles that bind us to our mundane lives, and move towards spiritual freedom, liberalism, socialism.  Independence.  If we don't let ourselves goal, our possessions end up owning us, and evolution is limited by our containment of raw emotion in the conservative environment of the 21st Century.  Freud believed that human nature contains two fundamental instincts - life and death, characterised by sexual and aggressive tendencies.  Embrace these core tendencies and interact with other people. Ditch the mobile phone, ditch the internet.  Balance sexual and aggressive instincts so that you present yourself well through "aggression" and maintain connection through the "sexualism". That may seem confusing, but what I mean is that as people we have almost forgotten how to communicate with others.  True happiness stems from forming connections with others, and although social media may seem to be a bridge, it really is a catalyst to the time bomb waiting to explode under us when this intricate, fragile web of technology breaks down individualism.

Although all this seems to be a montage of different socialist ideas, it all comes down to one point.  Before anyone can achieve happiness, they must accept that one day, we will die.  Without pain, and without sacrifice, the world would be empty.  We have to give up on holding on to the last fragment of the facade that we could possibly live forever as technology improves.  As humans, first we have to know, not fear that some day, we are going to die. It's only after that you've lost everything, and hit rock bottom, do most people come to this realisation.  It's only when we have nothing left, that we are free to be ourselves. If everyone remains chained by their silhouette of happiness, on a long enough timeline, the survival rate of everyone drops to zero.

At the end of the day, we just want to be happy.  We long to feel content, we long to feel loved, we long to have someone always there for us.  But we can only achieve that if we learn to respect ourselves.  We need to understand that life is a short and valuable thing, and it is too fragile for us to waste time searching for it.  Rather, we should free ourselves from the shackles of materialism that chain us to postmodernism, and let the winding adventure of life lead us to the true happiness that we seek.

Trevz.


Sunday, 11 September 2011

Staircase to heaven.

People always ask me, what do you mean by THE ONE? who is THE ONE? does such a ONE exist?  Furthermore, there's people that question the butterfly effect, and there are people that have lost faith in love existing.  I thought that I would take today's post in developing a set of systems in uncovering the one and what they would mean to you.

So, let's start with the basics. What do I mean when I refer to "the one"? Well basically, what it means is the one person that I can see myself spending the rest of my life with.  This individual will be someone who when you first meet, you feel an instant connection to them.  They will make you feel complete, they are the lifetime partner, the one who shares in your passions, your failings, your joys, your success, your sadness. The One is here to share your journey, through all of its detours, and to support your decisions as you mature into the potential that you possess within you.  When you meet the One, you don't need to ask yourself is this it? It will be an instinctual response, it will be reflected so deep in your core that your primal instincts will tell you that this is the end of your search.

The search however, is not easy.  Over the years, our personalities will evolve.  Our needs, wants, goals and challenges will shape our personality as life progresses.  The one that evolves in sync with us, the one that compliments us on our journey all the way is who we belong with.  Why do people have relationships that last for some time then, you ask? Well, think about it this way.  Every human life is an oscillating radio wave.  At some point in time, the waves meet and they travel together in harmony for some time.  At any given point in time there will be a soul that compliments yours for some short time but can it last? The one that withstands the test of time is the one for you.


How do I find the one then? Well, as humans we are genetically encoded to find the one.  Within each of us we have a deepseated magnetic impulse, drawing us closer and closer to who this person is.  You may meet them tomorrow, you may meet them in twenty years, or you may have met them already.  Life is all about not resisting these urges, and letting go, as the magnetic pull will do the work.  Just go along with what feels right.  If you've met someone, it doesnt matter whether you the male or female, but if it feels right, go for it! ask how they feel! because if you don't, you may never know, and it will just be a detour on your way to the one.


BUT at the end of the day, you cannot force things.  The Butterfly Effect is law.  Each little thing you do will lead you to the one, all you have to do is trust in yourself to make the right decisions.  One step at a time, you move towards your goal, just like climbing a staircase.  At the end of the day, it is not up to you to look for the one.  The butterfly effect will guide you, the magnetic attraction will lead you.  Live your life free, embrace the moment that is now.  Be open and happy, ground yourself to your passions, believe in yourself to achieve.  Searching for the one should not be your life's goal, rather, discovering yourself and who you truly are, now that's what living is about.


Trevz.




Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Another Smile...?

Take a moment to think. What makes you happy?

Before we go any further though, what is happiness? Is it as simple as a feeling? or is it a core essential part of life?

Consider this.  What would life be without happiness? It would be rather bland no? everything would be grey, dim, unbearable, not unlike Post-War Europe.  Hold that thought.

Imagine life without art. Take out all the art in life. No music, no films, no dancing, no colour.  No love, no beauty, no nature no flowers.  Rather similar ay? Therefore, I believe happiness is linked to art.  Without art there is no happiness, and without happiness there is no life.

Take a step back, let me tell you a story.  The most remarkable piece of music of all time was written by the composer Olivier Messiaen.  It was called the Quartet for the End of Time, performed in 1941 to prisoners in a German Concentration Camp.  Messiaen himself was a prisoner there, and composed the piece during his time there.  Why on earth would someone have the time and energy to write music when in a concentration camp? From what historians have told us, conditions were atrocious, it was barely enough to survive by trying to avoid torture and hunger, yet from these camps we have discovered the most amazing poetry, writings, music. Why? it must be concluded that in a camp, where people are stripped of all hope but just survival, NEEDED the art to survive.  The people had no recreation, had no food, had no habitable conditions, yet they had art. Art is part of survival, art is full of meaning, art is a way of saying "I am alive, I can survive, I am still me".

On 31st of March 2010, i received a phone call in the middle of the day, informing me that someone close to me had passed on through personal means.  I was shattered i had no idea what to do.  I didnt sleep for a week, i sat in my room staring at walls, I was a shell of my extroverted self.  The world around me was slowly turning more grey, swirling around, spiralling down into a chasm of darkness.  I thought taking a step away from everything would help.  I stopped practising piano, i could not listen to music, I didnt watch any films.  on 18 May however, by force of habit, i was drawn towards my piano, lifted the lid and sat down.  I sat there and thought, why am i here? has life got any purpose? if something could be extinguished as quickly as a phone call, what is the point of these hours of playing?

moving away from the piano, i needed calming.  I turned on my cd player, and by chance, Beethoven's Emperor Concerto was inside.  Without thought i hit play, and my entire study was filled with the glorious sounds of the slow movement.  As the passion in the andante tempo built to the climax, i realised all the pain i had bottled up over the past two months had been released.  I stepped back to the piano and slowly began to rebuild my technique.  Each movement of the fingers up and down the piano was a droplet of hurt flicking off.  at that moment i realised what was missing from my life...art.  Music entered my life again, and i realised the importance of it to survival.  Art is not just a part of the "entertainment" section of the Daily Telegraph, rather it is an essential part to numbing pain and hoping for the best in the future.

Some of you will say "but i can't play music" or "i can't write" or "i can't draw". It doesnt matter. there is no such thing as i can't.  it is the way we approach life that defines who we are, not what we achieve.  It is in our approach that we can incorporate art.  Art is something that stimulates thoughts, emotions and ideas.  It is an idea that fosters within us and can take any form and serve any purpose.  Art is a way of expressing our emotions, and displaying our understanding of the world, from something as simple as a hug to constructing a skyscraper in New York City.  Art is a learning and teaching process, it is a part of every day human life, as it is in human nature to be creative.

The reason why everyone conveys feelings through art is that there are no boundaries. Artists hold the freedom of expression, and viewers have the liberty to interpret it in any way for them.  Many people dislike the influence of pop culture on modern art.  However, contemporary art really is people trying to construct a balance between expression and entertainment.  The artwork itself is a meeting of spectator and creator.  The audience is just as much a part of the creation as the artist.

Therefore, we return to the beginning.  Why is happiness and art related? happiness is required to sustain our lives, and art is what can provide healing and recovery.  Art is not just a luxury, but an essential part of everyday life.  It is the way that we can represent our interpretation of the environment, and communicate with one another in a unified language that everyone can understand.  And with understanding, comes belief.  With belief comes emotion. and with emotion, we can branch our happiness, and through happiness we can create an artwork for another person to understand themselves, each other, and the world around us.

Trevz

Friday, 2 September 2011

Skyline.

Each failed artwork is one step closer to the masterpiece. One day you will paint your own Mona Lisa.


Believe in the butterfly effect. Take risks, spread your wings, you never know where you will end up, and your wingflaps will bring about your perfect storm.

Those are the two ideologies that I have realised that life must be lived parallel to.  They provide the guidelines of how life should be lived.  The core of these two statements is that one must believe in themselves.  The lack of self-esteem will lead to failures over and over again.  Furthermore, if you dont trust in the butterfly effect, you can't take flight and hence you will be grounded, chained to the life that you hate, the life that you keep saying that things aren't fair.

These two statements sound simple, but why is it so hard to follow them? simple. the onset of technology has lead to the erosion of emotional expression, connectedness with others and the power of communication.  Yes it is true that our lives have been enhanced with the introduction of the internet, but it has also hindered the development of humankind as a race.  As we evolve more and more into a one dimensional society, individuals become more and more multi-personified.  What i mean is that all of society basically lives in the world of cyberspace, however each individual within cyberspace will have multiple personas. a facebook account is one, your formspring is another and your LinkedIn is one too. furthermore, if we ever can pull away from our computers, or even something like Angry Birds on our smartphones, wer not the same person that we present ourselves to have been.  If an individual continues on and on like this, then eventually they will lose all sense of what is real and what is not, and there will be severe issues that arise.  Extreme cases include those high school shootings in america.

How do we remove ourselves from this so that we can approach life with the two ideologies that i've presented? if you've ever watched Fight Club, that is a very extremist representation of what one can do.  Quit your job. throw out all your technology. burn all that crap ikea furniture in your condo. Stop trying to be like everyone else. Pursue your childhood dreams of sport, art and music. Go start a fight, trash a car. get hit in the face. dont touch drugs or alcohol. get high naturally through dopamine production. smile. make new friends. be yourself.

Once you can do that let the wind take you as far as you can go.  No matter what, the forces around you will swamp you, you should not try and change the course of history.  Never think back and say that's what i should have done, rather reflect back on what has happened and forecast on how best to ride the waves into the future. Each one of your failings is not a failing, rather it is one step closer to achievement, it is one more brushstroke into your masterpiece.

Each step you take is a tile into the completion of your life, an iconic skyscraper on the skyline of New York City, where you will stand out for generations to come.


Reflect, not analyse.  Question, not consider.
Trevz

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Butterflies and Hurricanes.

Hey everyone. theres a lot thats happened the last couple of days, some stuff that have upset many people, and some stuff that will tear friendships apart. The only thing i will say is that people should be able to own up to what they did, and people should be able to admit they were wrong. but all is good. one can only hope that people go back who they truly are, not some extraverted persona.

anyways, lets not dwell on such ugly issues for much longer. so what do we talk about today? well i had a request to discuss commitment...or lack there of. why is it so hard for someone to become committed? most people are under the assumption that it is the male that finds it hard to commit, claiming "one poke and their happy". statistics actually show however, that it is the female that finds it hard to commit. of all the singles in australia at the moment, 78% of them claim to be single by choice and "fear of commitment. Of that 78%, 69% are females. that is proportionally MUCH higher than the male share. Furthermore, of all females surveyed, 95% said that if they were out on a friday or saturday night without a male companion around, they would actively look for someone to "hook up" with. (Yiu, 2011).

Statistics dont lie, but there must be some sort of motivation behind these statistics. There can be a few reasons as to why people find it hard to commit. The first and foremost is fear. As humans, one of our basic needs is to belong. what most people are scared of is being let down.  The feeling of isolation and loneliness is one that most people find hard to deal with, the thought of being not wanted anymore cuts down deep.  The ones that are most affected by this factor are those that generally have been let down before.  they shy away from relationships because they dont want to experience that disappointment again, they dont want to feel as if their whole world is breaking down around them.

another possible motivation is the love of "the Game".  There are some people out there that enjoy the chase so much that when a girl starts becoming attracted to them they instantly lose interest.  I've written briefly about the enjoyment in a previous post (maybe an elaborate post later? you tell me), but anyways, the  captivation of chasing, the enjoyment of living on the edge of an emotional rollercoaster gives a high that sometimes a real rollercoaster cant provide.  commitment just doesnt come naturally to these people, but eventually, they will meet the right one and settle down. its always the butterfly effect.

the other possible motivation are those that are way too concerned with the future and forget about the present.  Some people drown themselves in their career, some people are unwilling to commit to one that they know may not be the one, and some people just want to live life without boundaries.  Looking into the future
is important, but forgetting about the present will destroy you.  Enjoy the life that you live, look forward into the future, but don't let your eyesight go bad. because whatever you see in the crystal ball your mind creates is never the reality you live in.

At the end of the day, the choice to commit is one that is personal, but one that can lead to both dire consequences and unbounded happiness.  Whatever you choose, be guided by the wingflaps of the butterfly. Let fate decide your future, but control fate as a butterfly can control a hurricane.

Trevz


Friday, 26 August 2011

If today...

Hey guys. Hope your week has been good, i'm feeling so drained today. This week has been hectic, just doing so much work for uni, and also for my LMUS. Hopefully the workload lightens up a little bit, for now though, i'm looking forward to intervarsity sport on Sep10 ( YES EVERYONE SHOULD COME WATCH :D ) and the COMSOC Ball. ahh the ball. asking people to the ball seems reminiscent of yr 12 formal...but once you as someone you never know what could happen.

So today, what I want to talk about is regrets.  I'm sorry to the people that have given me many discussion topics, but this one came up today, and i just really REALLY have to address it, because its just the right question to address.  sorry ;(

anyways, so i was speaking to a mate today on the train, and being all Fight Club and all, i asked him, if this train was to crash now, would you have any regrets, and what would they be? this got us thinking, and it got me thinking too. what would my regrets be? would i have any? and what would my last words be?  My mate gave me quite some interesting responses, but they were his experiences not mine. But we both agreed that there would be three things that would leave us thinking "what if".

the first experience that i would miss was that for ONE SECOND i could taste true success.  To see other people in the city walking around happy, set, a worthwhile career and a solid relationship, it has always made me think, one day i will be like that. my greatest aspiracion. For just one second, if I could just sit down, turn to the bloke next to me and go "mate, I'm set" would be the greatest moment of my life.

the second would be that i had not visited any of the great architectural designs of churches in Europe, mainly Spain, Italy and Portugal.  Being Catholic, it has always  been my dream to go to Europe and visit as many of these amazing structures as i can.  If i could for even just ONE HOUR experience Mass inside St Peters Basilica, or even just sit there, it would make my life complete.  This is the regret of not having completed the pilgrimage of my religion, the core values that I uphold throughout my life yet having never delivered them to reality.  The regret of not having seen the greatest artworks God ever set mankind to create.

The last was that I had not, in my ONE and only LIFETIME loved, and been loved in return with my soul partner.  One day I will find them, one day, but til then, I still havent.  My regret was that I hadn't committed myself to anyone yet, my inability to move beyond my selfish needs and extend my spirit for someone else to share.  But then, it can't be rushed, the butterfly effect decrees that all things will come. So i guess i can't really say that I was inable, but i guess the core of my regret was that I didn't do the little things right for the butterfly effect to take care of it.

So how do we plan to avoid having regrets then? we can't. because theres no way we can predict when our last minute will be.  The only thing we can do is do the little things right for the butterfly effect to take place, and to live as unselfishly as we can, smiling, shining our true selves so that we dont get trapped in the funnel of darkness of materialism.

If this train were to derail, what would your regrets be?

Trevz.


Wednesday, 24 August 2011

The Wingman Code.

Hey guys, i hope i hadn't forced you all to wait too long for this post. As you can see from the cbox, theres been a request to have a discussion about the role of a wingman, how to wingman properly, and any advice. I'll get to that shortly.  However, remember, if you read this, you hence by swear to the wingman code, and you will abide by all it's rulings.

Before I go on, every one of you, read and say out loud the wingman code:

I swear to only take one girl(guy if your a girl wingmaning a girl), and leave the rest for my bros. I swear to always help out my partner in need, respect the policy of BROS BEFORE HOES. I also swear to NEVER RACKJACK A BRO.


now that we've gotten the administrative work out of the way, lets get down to business.

So, let us first work out what "wingman" actually means.  A wingman is usually a mate that you utilise that helps you get "in" with someone that attracts you.  The wingman must be versatile, be able to perform multiple roles, but most importantly, understand that they are not the ones to score in the immediate circumstances.

What does a wingman actually do then? well, lets see how well you recall the last post.  Do we remember the seven steps? think back? yes, yes? Good. well, the wingman's role is to assist in the SEARCH, and the ICEBREAKER. first, the wingman must help his bro pick out a worthwhile female from the multitudes.  This can be done by either a slight head nod, eye movement, wink, nudge, foot tap, yawn and point, etc. something subtle. After having done so, the wingman must boost the bro's confidence in slowly encourage him to approach.  The bro just smoothes over the icebreaker.

Once the approach is done, there are two things that can happen.  If the girls are in a group, the wingman's job is to isolate the not so aesthetic ones from the target of which the bro has picked. This can be done by simply asking the other girl(s) to dance, buying them a drink, telling them some boring fantastically brilliantly bullshitted story of your life, all the while slowly edging them away from your bro and his target. Once your bro is sufficiently alone with the girl, you attempt to lose this batch in the crowd and find yourself a new target. because the whole idea is, if you can wingman a bro, u shud be smooth enough to create an artwork yourself.

The other possibility is that if they are alone already, you go with your bro and help break the ice.  DO NOT SAY ANYTHING UNLESS REQUIRED. if you do, you detract all the attention away from your bro, and effectively, you have rackjacked him. Start off with a simple "have you met _______" then don't speak again unless required.  A wingman is there to break the ice and help a bro out, so with the introduction, you break them out, and then after that your only role is to back up any con, flimflam, scam, story that your bro tells in order to complete step three (the SALE).  also, you must understand when it is time for you to exit.  Once your bro is successfully selling himself, you find an exit strategy. ALWAYS HAVE ONE PREPARED. it could be as simple as  "excuse me, bathroom" or "i need a drink, see you later". If you're good, you could make your exit strategy by icebreakering with a target, and hence slipping away from your bro leaving him in peace whilst creating your own artwork.

That being said however, there is one important note to take. THERE IS NO BETTER WINGMAN THAN YOURSELF. yes you heard me.  no matter how much a wingman can set you up, most of the work has got to be done by you.  so why not wingman yourself, be yourself (so your con doesnt need to be backed up), and just go with the flow.  Butterfly effect, and the seven steps to success.  But if you want to help out a mate, remember, less is better than more.

Quick personal experience before I go.  Helped out a mate a couple of weeks ago.  Targeted three girls at a club, extracted the least aesthetic one, giving the other two to a mate. Left them to their own devices, and I think he did fairly well. Me on the other hand, left this extracted girl, and started step one all over again. It's simple. Wingmaning is all about precision. LESS IS BETTER THAN MORE.

Hope that was instructive, keep up the feedback :)
Trevz